Oliver the Cat

This is my Facebook status from Saturday Morning, Sept 1, 2012.  I put his on my blog so Lisa Baker, my hot momma friend could share it...

Oliver is our new cat. He saw me at the animal shelter on "Yappy Hour" a few months ago, and started bumping the glass. I said... "Ohhhh Ronny, he's talking to me! He's the ONLY ONE bumping the glass... He is the ONE!" So, Ronny being Ronny, he said: "Then he's yours"....
Now, you must understand that I have NEVER EVER had a cat or a dog that didn't like me. Apparently Oliver could smell my daughter on me. Because he hates my guts and LOVESSSSSSSSSSSSS Ellen Kathleen Banks. (Loves her in that weird "he's fixed however he pee'd on my damn kitchen counter while looking at Ellen because she had a boy sitting on the couch with her, and it wasn't him" kinda way...)
Anyway, Once again this morning, I tried my Grandma Amy's tried and true fix for all cats, that she and I called "Cat Language". That's where you talk in this really high pitched voice, and the cats just come at you like your the Pied Piper. 
Oliver twitched his tail, wrapped it around his paws, and looked at me like... "Bitch please..."
Damn cat...

Writing Exercise for Terrika Murray

So I asked a young lady at work to give me an idea for a short story so I could practice my writing.  And she did.   This is what I came up with...

"Cup of  Joe"  by Mary Beth Banks
  Reese- I swear I could spot him in a crowd of thousands.   Tall, coal black hair and eyes the color of milk chocolate.  That alone would have make me stop in my tracks, and it did the first time I saw him.
  He was ordering his usual according to Em, my coworker.  I had just transferred to the downtown location of "Cup of Joe" after working over a year at our University location.
  "He's a tall soy decaf latte" Em said.  All I could think was he was definitely a mocha-- wow.  He was beautiful.
  I stood there like "Rain Man", just staring.  I could feel the air crackling between us.  Then he smiled this mega watt smile that sealed the deal for me.  I was in complete and utter "like".
  Em was looking back and fourth like she was at a tennis match.  She finally walked over to me, bumped my arm and whispered "close your mouth and wipe your chin."
  That snapped me out of it!  I was so embarrassed.  I am not "that woman" who turns into a babbling needy female that acts like she has never seen a man before!
  Wow-- had it really been a year since I first saw him?  A whole year of me lusting after this man.
  "Hi, I'm Reese", he said in a voice that sounded like it belonged to an Arch Angel.
  "Lola" I managed to whisper.
  "Lola" he said my name like a caress.  He took his coffee and walked backwards smiling at me, then turned to leave.  I had been there one week when he finally spoke.
  I will not lie, I pulled out all the stops.  I was his own personal Batista Angel, and most surely I was not pumping out decaf.
  I found myself dreaming of him often-- the way he walked-spoke-the way he would bite his bottom lip when I flirted with him.  He knew though, he must have, that it was only him that I flirted with.
  I was falling in love with Reese.  Even on my days off I would be there enjoying my coffee and reading when he would come in.  Sometimes he would sit and talk for hours.  Finally I got the nerve to ask him if he would like to have dinner sometime, since he had always seemed so reluctant to do so himself.
  "Maybe sometime"  he said with a promise of sometime soon in his smile.
  A year-- a year of craving this beautiful man.  A year of so much sexual tension between us that I thought if I ever had the chance to be loved by this man I would surely spontaneously combust!
  A year-- learning about him in stolen moments, his hopes, dreams, likes, dislikes... God I just knew I was falling in love.
  Finally the night came, after a year of waiting-dreaming of being "his" if for only one night...
  Dinner was wonderful.  The food, the wine... oh the music and the conversation.  All of it extraordinary!
  As the night was ending, he walked me to my door, leaned against it-- holding my hands, oh God this was it...
  The beginning of my dream of passion and love with this beautiful man.  My Reese...
  My breath caught as he leaned in and pressed his soft lips to mine.  I could feel my  heart began to pound and tears to form in my eyes... His kiss-- so sweet, so loving, so tender...
  I pulled away from him and touched his beautiful face.. "Goodnight Reese.."
  "Lola?"  I will always remember the look on his face when I said goodnight.  I never answered him.. I just closed the door and slid against it to the floor and quietly sobbed into my hands while he stood on the doorstep pounding and yelling my name.
  I knew-- oh God I knew with that one kiss that he was not the man for me.  His beauty and passion for life aside, I needed that kiss.  That kiss that said he wanted to consume my heart and soul.  That Kiss that said "I could live forever breathing your breath and tasting your skin.."  That kiss that never happened.
  I crawled into bed empty inside.  The dream was gone for me... Oh to go back and feel the magic before that kiss that was so tender but that lacked the hunger I needed..
  I reach for my phone and the tears begin again.. Its a text from Reese-  "I'm in love with you.."
  The End...

 Note: The idea was that the girl would chase him, and he wouldn't want her, then he would want her, and she wouldn't want him....

I Don't Have Writers Block; I have Writers Jam

I get so many comments that I should write more.  Perhaps write a book.  Yet I hardly ever write a thing except for quirky status's.
  It's not that I am shy with my words.  *cough* Forgive me, I almost choked on the very thought of that one.  It's not that have nothing to say.  (I will refrain from choking on that one) My problem is making a choice on what to write about.
  This is probably the first thing in years that I have thought of and stuck with for several days.  I would write about not having writers block, but  having a traffic jam of ideas all vying for top spot.
  I have romance stories, flowing though my brain and my heart.  I see him see her.  I see her too blinded by pain from her past to see him.  I see him being gentle and patient with her, slowly pulling her out of the depths of her own personal bottomless pit.  (Oh shut up! Y'all know you would read it and love it!)   I have mysteries: After the death of her parents, a letter is found that describes a brother she never knew she had.  A child stolen from her mothers arms by a rich and powerful family of political climbers. *blank look*.  Oooohhhh... I have a great self help book to help those who just never know what to say at the right time: "How to tell a butt-head off in 30 seconds or less".  Advice from a hairstylist: What NOT to say to the person about to pick up sharp pointy shears and have them close to your head".  And... Advice from an ex-wife on how to train your kids to be serial killers simply by using them as a pawn in a game of "I hate you more" with your ex.
  See?  Idea after idea.  But I can not settle on just one.  One thought leads to another and by the time I think I am going to start something, I have run out of time and have to dash to go do what I was supposed to be doing in the first place.
  I feel like the Queen of ADHD.  My mind is a constant whirlwind of thoughts, dreams and ideas.  But it is like I can double think.  Part of my brain is going non stop, and the other part gets so worn out at times I just want to sit down and cry.  
  As of late its been recommended to me that I try yoga. Apparently it can help me realign my spine and hips AND help me calm my mind. To be honest  I am really afraid of going to a yoga class, not because I wont be able to do it, but I am afraid I will get kicked out because I have to bite my lips until they almost bleed to keep from yapping constantly. And then I will try another yoga class but I will be banned from that one too because all the Yoga Guru's will have put me on the "Wont shut up" list.
  OK, maybe that is going a tad far, but hello? that's how my brain works!
  So short story long, (and yes, I said that right) each week I try and try to settle on a blog to write.. It feels so good to get some of these thoughts and ideas out of my head.
  For about 10 mins after I publish this, I will have some calm quiet in my head.  Then, it will start all over again.  So I am going to pour me a cup of coffee and enjoy that rare quiet time...
  Until I see you again..
  MB

My life as a Professional Hairfluffer...

I was thinking (imagine THAT!) at work about some of the things we as hairstylists face in an average day.  I thought that after 20+ years of making people look good, (and refraining from strangling some of them) I would start a blog that I could add to as things happen, or as I remember stuff.  Things to make you laugh, or cry... and things I have wanted to say but would have gotten fired if I had.  *blink*  You must remember that I am a "problem solver" and tend to attract anyone who is a tad different (aka: crazy as hell) so some of these stories will seem made up.. but I have witnesses. *wink*
  To break things down, I will call the client CL and myself MB (of course)...*fluttering eyelashes*


One of my most recent memories is of a  young lady who sat in my chair and said:
CL:  MB, now-- I wants to keep my lenththasis. 
MB:  *blink* Length.  You want to keep your length. 
CL: *looks at me confused*  That's what I said..
MB:  No, you said lenththasis... length is plural.. well its assumed plural regardless...
CL:  *looks at me really confused* what?
MB:  Never mind..


I have to give Angela Lonier 5 stars/snaps for this one.  Apparently she had a difficult client today... I swiped this from her Facebook page...
  "ok people. If you want your hair to do something specific but you dont wanna cut it. I can't help you. If you don't wanna style your hair to get what you want, I can't help you. You needto talk to God about why you don't have magic hair that will surpass all physics and just do what you want with that stuff you call hair to do. I am a hairstylist not a miracle worker people!!!"

 Yall just dont know what your stylist has been though that day when you sit in their chair! <3 MB



Stay tuned as I add things over time... =)

Red Door

Me painting my door red!

My door finished with my "Somebody" daughter Ellen!

My Journey of Forgiveness

Dear Bloggie,
  Of course I have been doing the dance of change, change, change... like always.  Working, changing, knitting, changing, eating, changing... I am in a constant state of "change".  But things seldom do..
  Since April, there have been a LOT of changes happening around me.  I have been slowly changing without trying to focus on the actual ACT of changing. 
  OK, I know I have probably lost you already, so let me explain myself to you...
  I was at my brothers house celebrating my mothers birthday.  We were out on his deck, and behind his house is woods.  Most people if asked, would say that what they see when they look out, is trees.  (Because he has A LOT of them.)  I myself don't see trees.  Well, I do, but that's not all.  I see the wind moving the branches, I see the grass, I see the fence, I see birds, and their horses - well you get the picture.  I have a hard time looking and picking one thing that I see.  That's how my brain works.  Sometimes its one of the most magical things... seeing colors, and getting excited about the smallest thing God has created.  Other times it is exhausting.  Wearing and tearing my mind down.  I want to scream "Can I not just have one day when I can choose the first thing that comes to mind and STICK WITH THAT for more than 3 seconds??????"
  So, there actually HAVE been some changes going on in my life.  Some I am doing, and some have happened upon me.  One thing, is that I have been on a journey of self discovery. 
  That has taken me to forgiving people/things/circumstances and myself, and finally being freed of so much of the pain that has been inside of me for so long.  Its amazing how if you take the time to break things down to the basics, how you see things differently.  I guess the biggest lesson I have learned lately is that most of the pain I have held in my heart for what "happened" (whichever "what" I'm on at the moment) is the pain I felt when it happened.  Not the pain I would feel now.  Basically, when I ran into an adult that caused me some kind of pain/shame/whatever when we were kids, I would still feel like I did AS a child.  As I started a forgiveness journal I realized why things happened, and how, if you really think about it, I am the only one that has been holding on to this, and its got to go.  Bury the dead.  They stink up the place.
  I had a very dear friend of mine, who I will refer to from here on out as my LC (Life Coach) break some things down for me.  Things that are common sense, but that I wished I had learned years ago. Her own trials and tribulations have brought her to a place where she can say anything she wants to me, and not get punched. 
  I was telling her about how I believe you reap what you sow.  But I didn't understand why I had reaped so much crap from a situation when I did everything I knew how, over and over, to keep the peace and be fair.  She said to me, "MB, have you ever thought about your motive behind your wanting to keep peace and be fair.  Was it a good motive or bad?"  Well, Bloggie, that shut me the hell up!  I have thought about it, and thought about it.  And as I do, I find that each time, I come back to the heartfelt feeling that I was sincere, and only wanted the same treatment in return.  BUT... even as I typed that, a little voice said.. are you sure?  You sure you weren't after something?  So.. needless to say, I am still working on that one.  And thank you LC for pointing that out to me.
  As my journey continues I realize that I have allowed things from my past to shape the person I am INSIDE.  I did not realize till just recently that deep down inside, I felt as if I did not deserve any better than what I had, or what I got.  I would never amount to much except a bag of hot air. 
  Bullshit.
  I have not only been cleaning house on the inside, I have been literally CLEANING HOUSE.  I am ridding myself, my home, my LIFE of unwanted clutter.  All the pain and sadness, resentment, anger... all of that crap was keeping my heart and soul cluttered.  As it has started to leave me, I am looking around my house at stuff I have on the walls, and sitting around, that I settled on because I wanted something else that I didn't think I could ever have, or that I ever WOULD HAVE. 
  I started taking stuff down, donating stuff, selling stuff, and giving stuff away.  Its amazing how good you feel when you do that!  I am no where near done, but I have started, and that is the first step.
  When I say there are things I have wanted, what I mean is there are things that I love when I see them at someone elses home.  Like a fireplace.  Or a kitchen island.  Or an English garden in their front yard...  Or....to be exact... a red door. 
  I have always wanted my front door to be painted red.  Not because I think I am Elizabeth Arden, but because a red door has always said "Somebody" lives there to me.  Now, yes yes yes I know I am "somebody" but you know what I mean.  I have ALWAYS wanted a red door.  But I couldn't have one. Why you ask??  Well, I don't know why.  No one ever really told me I couldn't have one.  But deep in my heart I knew I would never be able to have a red door.
  And again I say:  Bullshit.
  As I type, the primer is drying on my front door.  By tonight, my door will be Apple Red, and it will say... "SOMEBODY AND THEIR SOMEBODY FAMILY LIVES IN THIS HOUSE!!!"
  And "They" do!
  Until later...
   MB

Round and Round the Coffee Cup....

Dear Bloggie,
  Today is going to be full of "Doings" and "Ohhh I want to Do that's!!"  I am UP, and about to take my son to test at Gateway.  I really AM procrastinating about doing this because I despise going up there.  In case you don't know dearest Bloggie, Gateway is a school.  You can actually GO to school there, Campus school, you can use them as an Umbrella School to do home school, or you can do what we do, The Extension Program, where we do all the work at home, but we go to the school to test and tutor. 
  The best thing about doing The Extension Program is that if you feel you are not "smart enough" to home school your kids, you have teachers there to help you out.  Most of the time we are smart enough, we just don't have any faith in ourselves. 
  So, I really really REALLY hate going up there.  Many people choose it so they are in control of what their kids learn... others choose it because their children have been kicked out of regular school and have no choice but to take them there...  (NOTE:  I saved this as a draft to finish when I got home, and got distracted, *imagine that*, and just now picked back up...however - please note how the tone starts to change as something happened to alter my opinion.)
  Like I was saying... Some kids have been kicked out of any/all public school by the courts, and by law they have to attend school, so they go to Gateway.  So, I get hives just thinking about going up there.  Why you wonder?  Well, because so many of these kids are up there doing everything they can to prove to the other kids that they CAN and WILL push every single limit they can.  I watch these kids talk to adults like shit! (pardon my potty mouth!)  They break every rule they can so they can show the other kids how tough they really are. 
  My daddy used to have this saying:  "They make me so mad it makes my hand itch to slap them."  *sigh* I know just what he's talking about!  I look over at my kids, and I can read their minds.  Nathan's thinking: Shoooot... mom would kill me.  Ellen's thinking: She would even know if I was THINKING about doing something like that. 
  So... as I went yesterday prepared to sit in judgement on all these kids that act so bad, I took my knitting to keep me busy.  I was knitting a hat for my God-Bean who's due in December.  I am sitting with the SB in the very last row... dead center and there are a group of girls right down the row from us talking about where they went to when they ran away.  How bad they cussed their parents, etc.  And I am sitting there knitting. Taking it all in... wondering if they would be so tough if mom and dad were sitting there.  Thinking, uh huh.... If they were mine I woul.. Wait, one spoke to me.  What did she say???  I said, "Im sorry??" She said, what  are you making??  A hat??"  I smiled and said, "I sure am" I am knitting in the round, and making a hat that will roll up instead of having an elastic like edge."  She looked at the "mean girls" and said, "hey look what shes doing!"
  Now, I got ready to go up there for once.  I did the whole hair and makeup thing, I dressed like I am a professional stylist, and this is what I got for taking the time to look the part.. (which I hardly ever do btw when I am off work) I heard, "Wow, I love your hair.  Is that a tatoo??  What does it say??  Man I would love to do that!"
  In the  next few moments I was giving the girls my number and telling them if they wanted to learn to knit I would teach them.  We could meet on Tuesdays after they test for like an hour somewhere there at the school.  I realized that I am NOT their mom or dad, I am  NOT anyone but someone they thought seemed cool, looked cool and IS cool.  That means, I can have an influence on these girls.  And if they will let me in to their little world for an hour a week, I plan to make the most of it.
  Its funny how I sat in judgement about things that I had forgotten I had done myself.  How many times did I talk big about how I acted at home, but in reality, I knew better.  My parents believed in the art of Foot2ass, and they were proficient in it! 
  Its another one of those times when I am glad the good Lord allowed my eyes to be opened to whats really going on, and instead of sticking my nose in the air and being holier than thou.. I planted a seed. 
  Now, I am going to sit back and wait to see if any of them call or text me.  We will see!
  Until later...
  MB