Oliver the Cat

This is my Facebook status from Saturday Morning, Sept 1, 2012.  I put his on my blog so Lisa Baker, my hot momma friend could share it...

Oliver is our new cat. He saw me at the animal shelter on "Yappy Hour" a few months ago, and started bumping the glass. I said... "Ohhhh Ronny, he's talking to me! He's the ONLY ONE bumping the glass... He is the ONE!" So, Ronny being Ronny, he said: "Then he's yours"....
Now, you must understand that I have NEVER EVER had a cat or a dog that didn't like me. Apparently Oliver could smell my daughter on me. Because he hates my guts and LOVESSSSSSSSSSSSS Ellen Kathleen Banks. (Loves her in that weird "he's fixed however he pee'd on my damn kitchen counter while looking at Ellen because she had a boy sitting on the couch with her, and it wasn't him" kinda way...)
Anyway, Once again this morning, I tried my Grandma Amy's tried and true fix for all cats, that she and I called "Cat Language". That's where you talk in this really high pitched voice, and the cats just come at you like your the Pied Piper. 
Oliver twitched his tail, wrapped it around his paws, and looked at me like... "Bitch please..."
Damn cat...

Writing Exercise for Terrika Murray

So I asked a young lady at work to give me an idea for a short story so I could practice my writing.  And she did.   This is what I came up with...

"Cup of  Joe"  by Mary Beth Banks
  Reese- I swear I could spot him in a crowd of thousands.   Tall, coal black hair and eyes the color of milk chocolate.  That alone would have make me stop in my tracks, and it did the first time I saw him.
  He was ordering his usual according to Em, my coworker.  I had just transferred to the downtown location of "Cup of Joe" after working over a year at our University location.
  "He's a tall soy decaf latte" Em said.  All I could think was he was definitely a mocha-- wow.  He was beautiful.
  I stood there like "Rain Man", just staring.  I could feel the air crackling between us.  Then he smiled this mega watt smile that sealed the deal for me.  I was in complete and utter "like".
  Em was looking back and fourth like she was at a tennis match.  She finally walked over to me, bumped my arm and whispered "close your mouth and wipe your chin."
  That snapped me out of it!  I was so embarrassed.  I am not "that woman" who turns into a babbling needy female that acts like she has never seen a man before!
  Wow-- had it really been a year since I first saw him?  A whole year of me lusting after this man.
  "Hi, I'm Reese", he said in a voice that sounded like it belonged to an Arch Angel.
  "Lola" I managed to whisper.
  "Lola" he said my name like a caress.  He took his coffee and walked backwards smiling at me, then turned to leave.  I had been there one week when he finally spoke.
  I will not lie, I pulled out all the stops.  I was his own personal Batista Angel, and most surely I was not pumping out decaf.
  I found myself dreaming of him often-- the way he walked-spoke-the way he would bite his bottom lip when I flirted with him.  He knew though, he must have, that it was only him that I flirted with.
  I was falling in love with Reese.  Even on my days off I would be there enjoying my coffee and reading when he would come in.  Sometimes he would sit and talk for hours.  Finally I got the nerve to ask him if he would like to have dinner sometime, since he had always seemed so reluctant to do so himself.
  "Maybe sometime"  he said with a promise of sometime soon in his smile.
  A year-- a year of craving this beautiful man.  A year of so much sexual tension between us that I thought if I ever had the chance to be loved by this man I would surely spontaneously combust!
  A year-- learning about him in stolen moments, his hopes, dreams, likes, dislikes... God I just knew I was falling in love.
  Finally the night came, after a year of waiting-dreaming of being "his" if for only one night...
  Dinner was wonderful.  The food, the wine... oh the music and the conversation.  All of it extraordinary!
  As the night was ending, he walked me to my door, leaned against it-- holding my hands, oh God this was it...
  The beginning of my dream of passion and love with this beautiful man.  My Reese...
  My breath caught as he leaned in and pressed his soft lips to mine.  I could feel my  heart began to pound and tears to form in my eyes... His kiss-- so sweet, so loving, so tender...
  I pulled away from him and touched his beautiful face.. "Goodnight Reese.."
  "Lola?"  I will always remember the look on his face when I said goodnight.  I never answered him.. I just closed the door and slid against it to the floor and quietly sobbed into my hands while he stood on the doorstep pounding and yelling my name.
  I knew-- oh God I knew with that one kiss that he was not the man for me.  His beauty and passion for life aside, I needed that kiss.  That kiss that said he wanted to consume my heart and soul.  That Kiss that said "I could live forever breathing your breath and tasting your skin.."  That kiss that never happened.
  I crawled into bed empty inside.  The dream was gone for me... Oh to go back and feel the magic before that kiss that was so tender but that lacked the hunger I needed..
  I reach for my phone and the tears begin again.. Its a text from Reese-  "I'm in love with you.."
  The End...

 Note: The idea was that the girl would chase him, and he wouldn't want her, then he would want her, and she wouldn't want him....

I Don't Have Writers Block; I have Writers Jam

I get so many comments that I should write more.  Perhaps write a book.  Yet I hardly ever write a thing except for quirky status's.
  It's not that I am shy with my words.  *cough* Forgive me, I almost choked on the very thought of that one.  It's not that have nothing to say.  (I will refrain from choking on that one) My problem is making a choice on what to write about.
  This is probably the first thing in years that I have thought of and stuck with for several days.  I would write about not having writers block, but  having a traffic jam of ideas all vying for top spot.
  I have romance stories, flowing though my brain and my heart.  I see him see her.  I see her too blinded by pain from her past to see him.  I see him being gentle and patient with her, slowly pulling her out of the depths of her own personal bottomless pit.  (Oh shut up! Y'all know you would read it and love it!)   I have mysteries: After the death of her parents, a letter is found that describes a brother she never knew she had.  A child stolen from her mothers arms by a rich and powerful family of political climbers. *blank look*.  Oooohhhh... I have a great self help book to help those who just never know what to say at the right time: "How to tell a butt-head off in 30 seconds or less".  Advice from a hairstylist: What NOT to say to the person about to pick up sharp pointy shears and have them close to your head".  And... Advice from an ex-wife on how to train your kids to be serial killers simply by using them as a pawn in a game of "I hate you more" with your ex.
  See?  Idea after idea.  But I can not settle on just one.  One thought leads to another and by the time I think I am going to start something, I have run out of time and have to dash to go do what I was supposed to be doing in the first place.
  I feel like the Queen of ADHD.  My mind is a constant whirlwind of thoughts, dreams and ideas.  But it is like I can double think.  Part of my brain is going non stop, and the other part gets so worn out at times I just want to sit down and cry.  
  As of late its been recommended to me that I try yoga. Apparently it can help me realign my spine and hips AND help me calm my mind. To be honest  I am really afraid of going to a yoga class, not because I wont be able to do it, but I am afraid I will get kicked out because I have to bite my lips until they almost bleed to keep from yapping constantly. And then I will try another yoga class but I will be banned from that one too because all the Yoga Guru's will have put me on the "Wont shut up" list.
  OK, maybe that is going a tad far, but hello? that's how my brain works!
  So short story long, (and yes, I said that right) each week I try and try to settle on a blog to write.. It feels so good to get some of these thoughts and ideas out of my head.
  For about 10 mins after I publish this, I will have some calm quiet in my head.  Then, it will start all over again.  So I am going to pour me a cup of coffee and enjoy that rare quiet time...
  Until I see you again..
  MB

My life as a Professional Hairfluffer...

I was thinking (imagine THAT!) at work about some of the things we as hairstylists face in an average day.  I thought that after 20+ years of making people look good, (and refraining from strangling some of them) I would start a blog that I could add to as things happen, or as I remember stuff.  Things to make you laugh, or cry... and things I have wanted to say but would have gotten fired if I had.  *blink*  You must remember that I am a "problem solver" and tend to attract anyone who is a tad different (aka: crazy as hell) so some of these stories will seem made up.. but I have witnesses. *wink*
  To break things down, I will call the client CL and myself MB (of course)...*fluttering eyelashes*


One of my most recent memories is of a  young lady who sat in my chair and said:
CL:  MB, now-- I wants to keep my lenththasis. 
MB:  *blink* Length.  You want to keep your length. 
CL: *looks at me confused*  That's what I said..
MB:  No, you said lenththasis... length is plural.. well its assumed plural regardless...
CL:  *looks at me really confused* what?
MB:  Never mind..


I have to give Angela Lonier 5 stars/snaps for this one.  Apparently she had a difficult client today... I swiped this from her Facebook page...
  "ok people. If you want your hair to do something specific but you dont wanna cut it. I can't help you. If you don't wanna style your hair to get what you want, I can't help you. You needto talk to God about why you don't have magic hair that will surpass all physics and just do what you want with that stuff you call hair to do. I am a hairstylist not a miracle worker people!!!"

 Yall just dont know what your stylist has been though that day when you sit in their chair! <3 MB



Stay tuned as I add things over time... =)